I Stopped Going To Church

I stopped going to church

I, who was born and raised in the house of God

I, who went to Sunday school every single Sunday when I was little

I, who led the recitation of scriptures on Children’s day and was always active in church

I, whose parents made sure I never missed church service

I stopped going to church

It started with me just feeling like not going

Sunday after Sunday, I chose my feelings rather that what I knew was right

Then it graduated to me using work as an excuse.

Each Sunday, I chose the excuse of work, rather than being in the house of God

As if those three hours in church were going to prevent me from achieving my career goals

One Sunday became two

Two Sundays became two months and just like that, a year came

A year where I had not stepped in church

A year where going to church felt like a chore

A year where ‘church people’ became too nosy for me

I had stopped going to church and it started because I didn’t feel like it

Covid came and that gave me more ammunition

It became worse and my initial guilt started seeping away

However, there was a gaping hole in my life

And it became pronounced day after day

Around that time, online services became a thing

“I will join online services”, I said

I joined the first one and found it too boring

Joined another church and found them too loud

Joined a third church and found them too spiritual

In three months, I had joined over 5 churches

But gave excuses for not going back to any of them

I know not why

Was it because I had not been in church for a while

Or I just was finding another excuse to miss another year of church

I did give up on that after a while

But one thing was certain

There was a big hole and I was looking for something or someone to fill it.

I stopped going to church and as you can imagine, I stopped reading my Bible

Bible who? Bible what? Bible how? Bible where?

I was too busy, too out of touch with being a Christian, to care about spending some time in the word.

I prayed occasionally but that even felt like a chore, a box ticking exercise

Without any of this, my life began to go in another direction

A direction where everything I had known to be wrong started feeling right

Where I accepted and started surrounding myself with people whom I knew I had no business being friends with

I moved from observing the wrong things being done

To not seeing what was wrong with them and eventually found myself doing them

At this point you could tell me nothing

I was always right and everyone around me was wrong

My choices were the best, and everyone else was archaic

To those around me, my usual remark was:

“What do you even know?”,

“Who do you think you are?”

“Why are you even interested in my life?”

Because I just wanted everyone off my back

While my day was busy with so much activity

At night, I went back home to emptiness

And was surrounded by one problem after another

The gaping hole was still not being filled, even with the many things I tried

Then this happened

I don’t know how I ended up in a particular church this one Sunday

I honestly don’t even remember

All I know is that I ended up there a year after the lockdown

And my life has never been the same

As I entered the church I began to feel at home

I found a seat and just then, the Pastor started preaching

It felt like he was speaking directly to me

It felt like God was speaking directly to me

Welcoming me back home.

Letting me know that this is where I belonged

Basically, telling me that regardless of where I had been and what I had done, His love was more than all that

That God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us

That God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son

That whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life

This was not news to me, because I had heard this growing up.

But I don’t think I believed it or truly understood it until now

It was like a re-awaking, an enlightenment, an eye opener

I just saw a whole side of this Christianity thing as I finally went to church

I went to church, and I saw the love of God like never before

I was led there because God loved me and wanted me back home

He loved me even after all I had done and who I had being

He loved me regardless of all my flaws and

He wanted me to be His child in truth

Because to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

A right to be an Heir of God and joint heir with Christ

Filled with the Holy Spirit and being led by him

The gaping hole I initially felt became filled with the love of God

My life made more sense and church became one of my favourite places

No more a chore or a box ticking exercise

But a place to share the love of God with other believers

A place to meet like-minded believers to do life with and be accountable to and with

A place to hear God’s word and be taught God’s word

A place to worship, serve God and experience His love over and over again.

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The is about the redemptive love of God. We all may have found our selves at one of these places in our lives but God wants us home. We are not meant to do life alone. As Christians, church is where we are built up and where we gradually learn to build others up, to worship and serve God. You may be a spiritual giant in your closet but it is still important that you find a bible believing, Holy Spirit filled church to attend consistently. When we start slipping, it usually starts with us not going to church and then one thing leads to another. Please make it a point to always be found in God’s house. I know life get’s busy and stressful but being in the house of God always helps.